June

June has been an important month for me the past years. It has been a month of uncertainty and hope. It has been a time where my chapters end, and new ones begin. 

In 2015, I was quitting my job as a full-time baker. I would travel to Thailand to celebrate my 20th birthday with my Thai family whom I’ve never truly spent time with, and those times I had, I could not really remember because I was so young. At this time, I had also applied to university, a bachelor’s programme in game design. In June 2015, I was lost in life and needed to find my “North Star.”

By 2018, I had finished my degree although I realized that making games was not for me, and that instead I sought to continue climbing in academia. So I applied for a master’s degree in Media and Communication studies. This would also become the worst year in my life, due to tragic, circumstantial events. But I found my way back, and I gave myself a purpose. 

Today, 2020 I finished my master’s degree in a completely different field from what I intended (because apparently I applied to the wrong programme), but it gave me better opportunities. I also endured three jobs during the time of my studies, caring for an amazing teenager with disabilities, being a journal editor for Press Start, and lecturing part-time for first year students in the BA programme I previously did. And I also curated an art exhibition, which my mom said was “bad because I did it for fun and did not get paid”, and she is right, but it was worth it. 

Even though five years ago I had completely different expectations of myself and my future, I’ve learned of the uncertainties of life and how every road may not lead where one plans for. Every step of this journey has been challenging, frustrating, messy and rough. And in the end, it was rewarding. After my thesis defense I cried for an hour, not because I was sad, but because it was a sense of relief and that suddenly everything I had done till this point made sense and I could be proud of my achievements. My reward was not arriving at the finish line, but the journey itself. I am very satisfied with how my previous chapters have developed and ended, and I’m really excited about the upcoming chapter in my life:

Starting this autumn I will be starting my full-time job as a lecturer at Södertörn’s University in Stockholm, and hopefully next June I will be sending out applications for a PhD position. 

• 

• 

• 

•